


Piss is Prohibited

by SucculentStrawberries



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Desperation, Drabble, Gen, Headcanon, Omorashi, One Shot, Self-Indulgent, can i tag this as humor? bc mona isn't funny he's just a little bitch, that's all this is just my self indulgent hc bs, you can't piss in palaces: the explanation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 02:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SucculentStrawberries/pseuds/SucculentStrawberries
Summary: There's something in Madarame's Palace that quickly catches the trio's attention...Unfortunately, they soon learn that Palaces have even more rules and hidden dangers than they realized...Their Navigator isn't exactly sympathetic.





	Piss is Prohibited

**Author's Note:**

> That title's dumb but it was literally all I could think of oops
> 
> Welcome to my self-indulgent drabble where Mona explains why everyone must Suffer (tm) in Palaces. If you've read the first chapter of 'A Sinking Ship', this is what Makoto briefly referred to and why she went through pure hell.
> 
> This takes place before Yusuke joins bc 1. I don't love writing him tbh and 2. I'm just a sucker for the OG Team. Also I like when the baby thieves are first starting out so they don't know anything yet and they can just kinda, bumble around and try their best.
> 
> This is a drabble not a full fic so there isn't a ton of detail when it comes to scenery

It had been an unexpected, but very welcome sight after all of the time they'd spent wandering the Palace. He couldn't help but huff under his breath, trying not to quicken his pace too noticeably.  
  
"Ugh, _finally!"_ Ryuji had groaned, taking the lead. "Joker, ya' comin'?"  
  
"I'm gonna pop in too! Mona, guard the entrance, 'kay?" Not even waiting for a reply, Ann had parted from the group, heading towards the opening to their left.  
  
Their navigator flailed his stubby arms, running after them to follow them. "Hey, where do you three think you're going!?!"  
  
"Uhh, the bathroom? Duh."  
  
"Skull, it isn't _real,_ you idiot! It's just another part of the cognition, like everything else here! Why do you think we never stopped at the first Palace?"

"To be honest, I just didn't really have to go back then." Ryuji shrugged. "Had to chug some soda to get through class today though."  
  
"Oh...I just never asked because I figured in a _castle_ our only option would be, like, chamber pots or something..." Ann admitted softly, shuddering in disgust at the thought.  
  
Hands still hovering on his belt, Ryuji strode ahead until he could look inside the mens' room, and they all soon found themselves following to see it as well. "It looks so real though...if we can actually get physically hurt here and steal treasures and stuff, then couldn't we still, er, _y'know?"_ Ryuji gestured vaguely at the row of stalls in front of them.  
  
Morgana pressed a paw to his forehead, sighing. "Ugh...think of it this way: What kind of effect do you think emptying your own _bodily toxins_ into someone's _mind_ would have?"  
  
"Shit...when ya' put it like that...probably a bad one, I guess?"  
  
"Yeah. So suck it up, because you're all out of luck."  
  
The treasure chest in the ladies' restroom did nothing to ease the trio's mood as they followed Mona back out into the museum.   
  
"Hey, um, if we can't go here, can we head back to the last Safe Room and hop back out for a bit?"  
  
"Lady Panther, if we do that you _know_ we won't be able to come back into the Palace until tomorrow. We don't have many days left, especially when we don't know what this place has in store for us. We need to case this Palace thoroughly if we want to make sure we'll be able to save Yusuke."  
  
Ann's gaze fell to the blue carpet when she was reminded of the life that was still in their hands. She had been the most vocal about helping, after all, and had the most motivation to save him from a similar fate to their own at the hands of manipulative adults.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you've got a point...Sorry. Let's just keep moving then. The sooner we get some progress done, the sooner we can get out of here, right?"  
  
"Right. So let's stop wasting time." Mona huffed, beckoning for them to follow as he began stalking forwards to peer around the corner of a hallway.  
  
The sudden appearance of a restroom and then having relief yanked away from him definitely made him even more aware of his discomfort than before, and he had to press his legs together for a moment before he began creeping after the others. He guessed Morgana's reasoning was believable enough, but it was still a pretty vague answer...he had to admit, he was curious. Slinking over to crouch near the shorter creature's ears, he kept watch on the Shadows lurking beyond, making sure they weren't going to be drawn towards their whispers.  
  
"So...I understand it would be bad, but...how does that work, exactly? Poisoning a mind with our own toxins? Palaces are pretty big...wouldn't it take a massive amount to cause any real damage?"  
  
"Frizzy-Hair, if this is your way of asking if you could get away with going in one of the vases or something, I'll claw you."  
  
Feeling his face burn red, he shifted so that his hair covered the side of his face closest to Morgana, glancing the other way. "N-No, I wasn't suggesting anything like that!" he hissed. "I just wanted to understand. We may have gotten through Kamoshida's Palace, but there's still a lot we don't know about how these places work...you're supposed to be my mentor, remember? So...how does it work?"  
  
"Okay, if you want more details, I'll explain. You can figure out how to dumb it down for Skull later." Motioning for the two blonde thieves to dart ahead towards the next hiding place, Morgana cleared his throat. "Alright. Now, first of all, remember: everything else in a Palace is cognitive, but your body is still _your body._ It's physical, you can get hurt or even die, and anything in it _can_ come out, so you have to remain vigilant. No using the bathroom, and no getting sick."  
  
"You said that stuff is toxic...what about blood? We've bled before when we got hurt, and nothing happened then, did it?"  
  
"Blood's the exception. Dangerous fighting is expected by Palace Owners, so they already imagine blood coming from their enemies or their own guards. It registers as part of the cognitive area, even though it may be coming from your real body. But nobody really expects someone who breaks in to rob them to suddenly hurl or wet the carpet."  
  
"Right, I think I get it. So it's fine to mess around with small treasures or interact with things and creatures here, but only because they were created _with_ the Palace. They belong here because they were created by the owner's subconscious. But if we add something foreign from the real world, it would register as an _actual threat_ instead of cognitive, because it wasn't made here?"  
  
"Very good. As you know, stealing the _Official Treasure_ affects the owner's mental state though, because it's such a core part of who they are and why these worlds formed to begin with. They'll notice that right away, and causing physical harm to the Shadow Owner or killing them could cause mental shutdowns or death, which I explained before with Kamoshida. In the same vein, if they register a foreign threat like the things we mentioned, it starts acting like a contaminant, or a virus. The toxins begin to affect their mental state. It might not be immediate, but it _will_ happen, and depending on how unstable the Palace Owner already is, it could be disastrous..."  
  
"How bad are we talking? As bad as killing them?"  
  
"Like I said, it depends on how far they've fallen already. It will definitely affect the Palace's environment, but it'll leak into the real world's counterpart as well. It could cause all kinds of different mental or behavioral issues, like making them more aggressive, anxious, or depressed, but it could also make them physically sick. After all, it _is_ your bacteria."  
  
"That's...pretty bad."  
  
"I know, that's why I had to stop you three nitwits before you wrecked this place!"  
  
"What about Safe Rooms though? Shouldn't they be...you know, _safe?"_  
  
"Unfortunately, no, they aren't. If you soil one directly, the contaminant will cause it to start losing its protective properties that shield it from the Palace Owner's awareness. It'll just become another regular part of the Palace, and it'll probably spawn even more Shadows than normal."  
  
"Got it. So we really do just have to suck it up."  
  
"Afraid so. Now come on, we're wasting time! The others look like they've finally found a good spot to ambush those trickier guards!"  
  
Nibbling his lip, he nodded, getting to his feet and darting as quickly as he could towards the next available hiding place, and then dove through a couple more until he'd arrived to crouch with the others. Those swift movements had sent his bladder nagging again, but if what Morgana had told him was true (and he was sure it was, if it had been that detailed), then they really didn't have any other choice. He'd gone through similar discomfort during some of the Kamoshida infiltrations before...he could manage to get through this.   
  
~~~  
  
He noticed Ryuji was jiggling his good leg anytime they stopped, bouncing it up and down with increasing speed. Ann kept squeezing her thighs together, occasionally bouncing on her heels or bending slightly at the waist. He kept catching himself with his gloved hands rubbing along his thighs, barely yanking them away before he risked giving in to the increasing urge to grab his crotch. They had to have passed another floor or two by now, but Morgana seemed just as irritated about their needs as earlier, if not even more so.  
  
_"Come on,_ pick up the pace you three! Joker, I expected at least _you_ would be keeping up!"  
  
He had to bite back a groan as he quickened his steps. It was easy for Morgana to berate them, he wasn't even human (at least, not physically, right now). Did he even _have_ physical needs in the Metaverse? He was beginning to doubt it, considering he didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable, compared to all of their nervous shifting.  
  
Sure, _he_ was the leader, so if he really wanted to he could snap an order, but Morgana was right about the importance of their mission and the limited time they had left. He'd successfully been guilted by his self-proclaimed mentor. They could wait for a bit longer before leaving today.  
  
Morgana began rifling through his fanny pack, pulling out a few of the canned items he'd bought at the school vending machine earlier in the week. "Here, everybody drink a couple of these. You're all low on SP, and melee attacks aren't going to cut it."  
  
He would have sworn out loud at the command, but Ryuji had already beaten him to it, spitting out several expletives in Morgana's direction between chugs of soda. Ann whined under her breath, taking a few gentle sips before she decided it would be easier to tip her head back and down the entire thing in a single, impressive go. Turning the lukewarm can in his hands, he closed his eyes as he brought it to his lips.  
  
Come to think of it, hadn't he already had a few of these at lunch today?  
  
_Damn it..._  
  
~~~  
  
They'd been following their navigator's enthusiastic whims for another few floors, Morgana clearly eager to drive them harder since they'd succeeded during their first mission, but enough was enough. He could see Ryuji shoving his hands in his pockets whenever he was able, squeezing his thighs together and grumbling constantly, and Ann couldn't stop shifting from foot to foot, tugging nervously at the whip in her hands and biting her lip until she'd scraped most of the gloss from it. He was barely holding it together himself, his face flushed and hands constantly toying with his hair or coat in an effort to keep from grabbing himself.  
  
Morgana may be more experienced when it came to Palaces, and he may not have asked to be in charge, but _damn it,_ he'd been chosen, and he was putting that power to use. They'd cleared more than enough ground for today. Time to put his foot down.  
  
Pausing in the middle of the empty hallway, he crossed his arms, clearing his throat softly to catch the not-a-cat's attention.   
  
Mona's tail lashed as he turned around, his wide blue eyes narrowing into a frustrated glare as their momentum was interrupted. "Joker, why'd you stop? We're almost to the next floor, I can _feel it!"_  
  
"Mona." He had to keep his body stock-still, trying to maintain a firm, leaderly stance. It was difficult to keep his voice from wavering, and he was sure it was coming out even more quietly than his usual murmuring. Still, he managed to stare their navigator right in the eyes, the mask covering his face giving him the confidence of knowing his nerves might be better hidden. "We're leaving."  
  
Morgana was flailing his arms again, hopping animatedly as he pleaded. "Aww, come on! We're _so close_ to finishing this area! I'm _sure_ there'll be another Safe Room on the next floor, and then we ca-"  
  
"I'm going to piss myself if we don't leave _right this second."_  
  
His face was heating up at the admission, but at least his two teammates had come to back him up as he stood there, trying his best not to shake as he kept his legs straight.  
  
"I have to go _soooo_ bad!!! This tight suit really isn't helping, Mona!" Ann pleaded, frustration clear in her voice as she stomped one foot. If she'd been less desperate, she probably would have used her charm to butter the little monster up, but he was sure by now she didn't have the patience to play nice. He wouldn't be surprised if she took that whip and tied Morgana up so they could all _drag him_ out of here.  
  
_Actually, that's not a bad idea..._  
  
Was it mean? Yes. But Morgana forcing them all to suffer like they were just his lackeys was even meaner, so if things got any worse, he wouldn't be above proposing it...  
  
"Yeah, my teeth are floatin' here!" Ryuji snapped, stomping closer to Morgna with his hands on his hips. He noticed those hips kept shifting as he stopped to glare at him. "We're bailin', whether your lil' bossy ass likes it or not! I ain't about to piss myself because of _a damn cat!"_  
  
"I'M NOT A CAT!!!" Morgana snarled, baring his fangs at Ryuji. Rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms, staring at them all with pure annoyance. "Ugh, fine! We'll cut it short, but you're all gonna have to work _extra hard_ so we don't miss the deadline!" Their navigator hissed, pulling the map out of his pouch. "Alright, follow me back to the last Safe Room...I thought you had all improved since the beginning, but purrhaps I was wrong..." he muttered that second sentence under his breath, completely ignoring the glares they had all shot him.  
  
~~~  
  
The second they were inside the shimmering doors he was clutching himself and crossing his legs, squirming around and whimpering under his breath. He felt like he was about to _explode,_ his bladder sloshing around with every movement, but it was even worse if he stayed still.  
  
_Don't pee, don't pee, or we're all doomed..._  
  
Skull was letting loose a string of curses as he jumped around the room and leaned against the table. "Damn, I'm about to bust over here! Not gonna lie, I'm doubtin' if ol' Art Boy's worth all of this!"  
  
"Hhh, this material makes it really hard to get a grip!" Ann moaned, pressing her hands between her thighs as best she could and sitting down in a chair to cross her legs. "Who the hell thought latex was a good idea? This costume is the _worst!"_ she gasped out, cringing.  
  
Morgana had climbed up to stand on the middle of the table, shaking his head in disbelief. "I thought only _little kids_ did this! Aren't you all _teenagers?!?"_  
  
"Just take us out, you piece of shit!" Ryuji snapped, his growl shifting into a gasp a moment later as he hunched over.   
  
"I'm working on it! My paws aren't the best with this touch screen!" Morgana huffed, tapping on the phone he'd barely managed to pass over before shoving his hands back between his legs. "Joker, which button do you press to teleport again?!?"  
  
"For the entrance, it's the third one! J-Just- _ah_ -double tap it...it'll take a minute to load up..."  
  
~~~  
  
A few agonizing minutes, flashes of red and black, and the distant snickering of Caroline at the Velvet Door later, they finally jumped back into the real world. Unfortunately, they'd all landed face-first, positioned too awkwardly to land in a proper fashion. Too frantic to waste time focusing on their scrapes, they'd all scrambled to stand back up, bouncing in place as they took in the surroundings of Madarame's shack and the small streets surrounding it.   
  
"I-I, uh, don't guess we could bolt in and ask him _really nicely?"_ Ann squeaked out, crossing her legs tightly.   
  
"Are you kiddin'!?! He wants to sue us, we can't get within two feet of that door! Yusuke's still effin' pissed too-"  
  
_"Don't_ say that word, geez!" Ann moaned. "What's the closest place then?"  
  
He was trying to think, but this place was kind of an out-of-the-way dump. That was Madarame's whole, 'humble' thing, after all. They usually had to take a train or walk here, and it was a decent journey.   
  
"I hate to say it, but, um...the station's kind of _far..."_ he murmured, tightening the grip on his uniform pants. There _had_ to be another option...  
  
"Screw it, I'm findin' an alley or somethin, I can't walk that far!" Ryuji huffed, already storming down the road to scope out the area.  
  
"Ryuji, there are still a few people that come around here! Like fans from the art show, o-or that reporter we saw a while back-"  
  
"Do ya' wanna piss yourself?!?"  
  
"No, b-but... _damn it!_ Fine, I'm coming too! Akira, come on..."  
  
It was embarrassing, but they were right. It was the only option they had besides a worse outcome. Honestly, he didn't care where they went as long as he got to finally get some relief. Nodding, he started to head after them, casting a quick glance back at the baffled cat sitting on the concrete.  
  
"Morgana, watch out for people, alright? Let us know if anyone starts heading towards us."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I won't let you guys get caught. Just make it quick, I can't exactly do anything besides meow."  
  
"Thanks..."  
  
"I'm making a new rule though. From now on, all of you kids take a bathroom break _before_ you go on a mission."  
  
_Well, we might have if you'd actually told us about the rules before..._  
  
"Dude, come on! I found a spot, but we've gotta hurry! Ann, take that corner, it'll hide ya' better!"  
  
"Thanks...Don't you dare look at me though, or I'll kill you!"  
  
"You think I've got time to be snoopin'!?! I'm just tryin' to get this damn belt off!"  
  
Fuck it, he could argue with the cat _after_ he took care of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay listen I know Mona is the sweetest best buddy by the time the game is over and I honestly love him with all my heart, but let's face it:
> 
> He was a rude little bitch when he first joined, he was bossy and viewed them all as his little bumbling tools to mold and train and he deserved to get smacked tbh
> 
> Technically I don't think he realized things were that bad bc he isn't human and was still getting used to the real world but
> 
> Akira's gonna lecture him when they get back to Leblanc istg


End file.
